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'Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple
and learn how to handle them,
and pretty soon you have a dozen.'

- Steinbeck

penny

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Costanzian adj.

1. having characteristics, features, mannerisms, or habits (especially bad ones) like those of George Costanza
2. of or related to Costanza

I used this word in my noveletta Coda to refer to the Costanzian question of whether or not the hand was easy to get out again, after putting it in the hair. I think Seinfeld references will still be considered contemporary pop culture for a long time.


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diminumasculation n.

1. a decrease in power, masculinity, or other defining male characteristics that is not unrecoverable in the long term, but may cause irreversible consequences in the short term
2. shrinking of the balls

It's even worse this time. It's beyond just paralysis through the customs shuffle and out of her life indefinitely and into new uncharted realms of diminumasculation. How could we have possibly spent the three most romantic days in the history of the universe together and yet I still couldn't grow enough of a pair to show her how utterly she amazes me? Pragmatism be damned; when you find someone this incredible, you can't think about the details like three thousand miles and two quarter-million dollar mortgages until after you know that there is actually a reason for them to be a problem.


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Google vt.

1. to perform a web search using the internet search engine Google
2. to look up or reference

Google got its name by mangling the word googol, which is a one with a hundred zeroes. Now its name is starting to get mangled in the vernacular the way Xerox and Kleenex did, but also the way top-forty music gets mangled by overplay. Don't make me move this to the bastardization list.


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luser n.

1. a painfully annoying, clueless, or stupid computer user
2. any computer user, relative to a hacker
3. a combination of user and loser

I probably first encountered this term reading the Bastard Operator From Hell (BOFH) diatribes. Since I used to be in tech support, I found them particularly amusing.


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matrilactose n.

1. a complex carbohydrate found in mammary gland secretions
2. mother's milk sugar

In homage to Mark Winokur, the apparent coiner of the word neologophile in his book review of Escape Velocity: Cyberculture at the End of the Century, I am including another word that he invented in the same sentence in my list. The suffix -ose implies that he is talking about a sugar and not just mother's milk alone, which I doubt was his original intention. I would have used "matrilactic" instead, since his use of the verb "are" would have let him get away with an adjective in place of the noun.


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Murphian adj.

1. guaranteed to fail in every manner possible
2. exhibiting characteristics described by Murphy's Law
3. of or related to Murphy or Murphy's Law
4. ironic

The original statement that eventually became Murphy's Law was actually "if there's any way to do it wrong, he'll find it." This has since been expanded to the more general "if anything can go wrong, it will." Many of the uses now found on the Web seem to focus on the irony (not in the Alanis Morissette sense) of the consequences of the law.


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rowl n.

1. the high-pitched roar of a lesser or female big cat
2. a cross between a roar, a growl, and a meow

The traits I most identify with in Leo are the sitting around, screwing the lionesses, watching them fight with each other, and having them bring all the food. If it's acceptable to be turned on by a good cat fight, why not a girl wearing pointy ears and a tail? If women could rowl and purr like jungle cats, I'd be in big trouble.

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