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[spud] graffiti
Bondi Beach, Sydney, NSW c. 2002

Fri, 12 Aug 2005 12:08 PM (GMT-0700)

I thoroughly devoured Clublife yesterday and I'm pretty well blown away. I admit that I was sucked in by the probably typical gleeful Schadenfreude that has drawn so many others into it: hearing stories about Guidos and B&T trash getting tossed on their asses by their societal and physical superiors. I also admit that I arrived at the party rather late, so it's a good thing his standing guest list is still open. I found the link through memepool, which doesn't generally lead to anything intellectually stimulating, but this time they struck gold.

I have another confession in that I was pretty incredulous that this was the writing of an actual bouncer at first. I guess life is always teaching lessons about underestimating people, as long as you're paying attention. When I say these guys are societal superiors, I don't use the traditional definitions that often define your 'class.' I use the definitions that I would want society at large to use to define social grace, meaning that no matter what kind of car you drive you can still conduct yourself with a modicum of humility and consideration. When I say physical superiors, I mean that they are capable of physically controlling even the juiciest of the roid ragers as a matter of daily routine, no matter how many pounds by which they are outweighed. There is quite a lot to be said for that kind of power as long as it's wielded appropriately.

I won't spoil it for you (you should read it for yourself), but I will pick out a few of the more poignant moments that I especially appreciated.

The blog itself is pretty starkly apolitical, but a few times he puts this whole clubbing phenomenon into simple unarguable perspective; as he's throwing out yet another of these worthless nocturnal cockroaches for pissing on the floor in front of the bar he reminds him that there are kids younger than him that are sleeping in tents under constant threat of extreme annihilation in Iraq, and dying every day for his privilege of acting like total human garbage.

I also like that he sees his job, which is in some senses glamorous, as just a job. A few times he discusses what it's like to know so many people for whom fighting is a profession. He sees all these weekend warriors strutting and posturing with his fellow staff, smiling to himself that what these idiots don't know very much will hurt them. Similarly, several of them have commercial driving licenses, and he observes quite accurately that most people think they can drive, but they can't. Ever watch these guys that do it for a living, especially in a traffic jam? You don't have to go to school for this stuff to keep from being part of the problem, just spend a few minutes paying attention to the professionals and maybe I won't have to spend forty-five minutes to travel less than a mile from the intersection of RT 3 and I-495 to the entrance to the Lincoln Tunnel next Thursday.

I've sort of been skimming the perimeter of this whole blogging phenomenon lately, trying to scope out what it's all about. Again, I've come pretty late to this party, but I don't necessarily intend to stay. I'm just trying to see what all the commotion is. I've made a few resolutions based on my (extremely limited) observations.

The first is that I don't ever plan to post effective one-liners or simple links to other conversations. This is the societal equivalent of pointing and staring; it's what turns a tragic accident into a clusterfuck of passerby, "amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood." Neither will I post my own meaningless personal experiences. No one cares what I had for breakfast this morning without some relevant context unless they're just stalking me. No thanks.

Second, I will continue to write with self-importance and heavy opinionation, because I am an especially arrogant egomaniac. I am in fact so self-important that I don't even need something akin to a blog to distribute my particular brand of world view. I hold my truths to be self-evident, to partially plagiarize yet another great source; it's just that most people that disagree with me don't yet recognize why I'm right. However, if someone receives my writing as a figurative beating with the clue stick or at least a dust-off of a few stagnant synapses, so much the better.

The third is that I will not try to parlay my writing into a career. I will not do that to something that I love; I never want to feel that writing is enslaving me to the grind. By the same token, I will never write an article to explain to my readers that I'm going out of town for the weekend, so they'll have to curb their rabid drooling and wait a few days for another one. Nor will I publish an RSS feed. I am not doing this for you. I'm doing it for me. If you want to spur me into production, inspire me, don't badger me. Beware that the bar of inspiration is extremely high. Don't get discouraged.

Fourth, I will not be titling anything, unless I feel it needs a title. Even then, I will have to make some significant changes to my site code to make that even possible. I'm not writing within a formula here. If I have a piece of writing that I feel is worthy of titling and packaging up, I will most likely put it in my other collection, anyway.

Finally, I doubt that I will be doing much in the way of political commentary. As much as I love a good political discussion, it is effectively impossible to have a rational intelligent conversation in an anonymous public forum such as this. While I think my CAPTCHA is sufficiently discriminating, it seems like they're always building a better idiot. I will not censor anything on this message board unless it is simple self-promotion and provides no value to the discussion. This site is for my shameless self-promotion, not yours. Abusing my site will result in posts being simply excised without warning. Behave yourselves.


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